single parenthood

Why aren't children just little innocent things these days????? Can it all be TV, music and the shit their parents let them watch. I bet it has more to do with what they see and hear at home. Many of kids don't pretend to smoke cigarettes but they pretend to smoke a pipe or a joint.

Today, yes I teach in a public school in the inner city of Minneapolis, I was reading t0 my kids "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever." It is one of my favorites and the Herdman children are like many in my class. Anyway, there was a line about putting a pussy willow in someone's ear. Four of my boys started laughing their heads off everytime I said pussy willows. I asked them what was so funny and if they knew what a pussy willow was. Of course and it is a shame that they didn't. I explained what the plant looked like and so on but I don't think they believed me. I know exactly what they were thinking about and it upsets me to no end when I think that they are 7. What are they going to be like at 15?

It is nothing for them to tell me that they have seen this rated R movie or played this video with their dad. Someday I am going to get in trouble because I always come back with, if you saw that movie your parents aren't doing their job. Those movies are for adults not kids.

Lord can I survive in this career for 26 more years.......

Last night, I was checking out the local paper up in Northern MN. The one section I check a couple times a week is the obits. It seems that at times my dad forgets to tell if someone I should know about has passed through this world. When I was reading them, I saw that our old UPS driver died. One might ask why this is so important... He was possibly the first "older man" I had a crush on and he flirted with me all time. He always knew how to make a young woman feel good about herself without crossing any lines. This man would always made sure that our house received a package from JCPenney almost daily so he could stop in and visit with the family. During the holidays, he would stop for cookies and beer. In the summer it would be just for beer and then get in his truck and drive 30 miles. STUPID!!! I remember the last time I saw Gary, it was the day after my mom died. He pulled up in his UPS truck, hugged me and said, "Shit Mar, what are we going to do without her?"

Rest in peace Gary, your memory will always bring a smile.....

This is how I feel and look after working 5 hours today, coming home and baking 8 dozen cookies!!!! It is time for a cold one. DAMN, the only problem is I don't have any!!!! Cannot buy beer in MN on Sundays!!! These first two photos are from school. One was taken in seventh grade and the other in second. Guess which one I hate???? Which one is my favorite???? I hope everyone had a wonderful day!!!!

This is Marlene, my mom, during her senior year in high school.

My mom left this world on June 30, 1993. It is a day that I can remember almost minute to minute. It was the day that I wanted the world to come to an end. Over the course of the last 12 years, I have learned to live without my closest friend, most trusted advisor and the head of our family.

Marlene was a kind, caring, family woman. Her one regret in life was that she didn't continue her education after high school. She always told me that she was so happy that her only daughter, myself, was the strongest and most independent of her four children. We talked almost daily on the phone and if the phone rang between 5-5:10 pm, I could pick it up and say, "Hi mom!!" Kiran would have held a special place in her heart and I make sure that I share my stories with her.

She loved kids and would be delighted that she has 9 grandchildren. Each one would have a special place within her and she would spend all her time being with them.

The loss is felt most around the holidays for me these days....She loved Christmas, shopping for her kids, and doing all the baking.

I miss you mom!!!!!!

Today, I am so thankful that I had the day off and could actually just be a mom for once. At Kiran's preschool they had a Feast for their snack. I volunteered to help out and am so happy that I did. Kiran had a smile on her face the entire time. She did tell me on the way to school that she was a little nervous to have me there. Why, who knows???

It really was fun to hang with my girl and have so many other parents tell me what a sweetheart she is, how well behaved, and beautiful. Then they all added, are you sure you are Kiran's mom??? Once I explained that I was a single parent, who sent in her SIL to volunteer at times and it was her daycare provider who dropped off and picked up, they all seemed to understand the scheme of things. Hell, I am usually teaching someone else's kid so I cannot make it to preschool to often!!!

It was interesting at times, the director, was showing us how to put out the tables and said that the kids would sit on the floor criss cross applesauce. A term I always use in school so it didn't really surprise until she said that she use to say to sit INDIAN STYLE. Ok, this was a term they used in school back in the DAY, MY DAY!!! I almost fell over when she added that she probably shouldn't use that term anymore......OK, I am thinking, what century are you living in....

Enough of that, I am so thankful for all my family, friends, having a job, a house, and everything else. I am most thankful for Sefhali Bidi, who gave birth to my daughter 5 years ago. She truly has provided me with the greatest gift in life!!!

Each student had a placemat for their feast. K's class each wrote what they where thankful for on theirs. Just about every kid had I am thankful for my toys, my pets and so on.... My girl wrote, "I am thankful for my MOMMY!!!!!"

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!!

M

I really enjoy looking at the different blogs on PHOTO SUNDAY. This my brother Red at 4 and me at 6.

This picture was taken on our families first official camping trip. Now, we were camping on Lake Vermilion in Northern MN on an island. The island was a 15 minute boat ride back to my Grandma and Grandpa's house. Everything was great when we arrived, my dad made dinner on the Coleman stove and then I had to go to the bathroom. It was then explained to me, at that time, that I had to go outside........ Well, I was having none of that. My parents talked about and within 15 minutes, I was in the boat on the way back to my grandparents. I was relieved to be going back to their house, with indoor plumbing and a warm bed to sleep in. That adventure was my first and last camping trip in a tent........

The funny thing is, my mom stayed with me at my grandma's and she thanked me for not wanting to stay on the island!!

Mary

23 years ago, so long time ago, I made a decision in college to became an Elementary Education Major. I loved student teaching, planning my lessons, and watching the kids grow. My first job was in Houston, Texas. I grew up on the Iron Range of MN, not diverse at all, and went to the fourth largest city in the country. The school was 100% African American and I was amazed how much pressure the put on their kids to pass the standardized tests. Teachers closed their doors and cheated so they would look good. I would tell these stories to my dad, also an educator, and we would shake our heads. The teachers would spend the entire year teaching toward the test. The kids wouldn't learn any skills but damn they could pass the damn tests. I taught second grade so my kids didn't have to take the tests so I was still able to enjoy planning my lessons, being creative (which my creativity is very limited), and not feeling the pressure.

I am back in MN where life is normal again. The kids take the standardized tests and we look at the scores and decide what skills we need to work harder on. THENNNNN, the Bush administration passing NCLB. Their answer to struggling kids is take the teachers and shoving staff development down their our throats. Give us a prescribed, research based curriculum that is suppose to work. HAHAHA!!! Start testing kids in Kindergarten and label them as failing to meet the graduation requirements in the state. These kids are 5 or 6. Also, test the kids so much in grades 1-3 so that the classroom teacher is only testing and not teaching. That doesn't include taking away from planning time to grade the damn test scores. Now, most teachers can tell you in the first week, those kids that are struggling, those kids who are gifted and those that are on grade level. We don't really need five different tests to us that. Kids all learn at a different rate. Some kids aren't ready to read until 2 or 3rd grade. Not any more, if you are not reading coming out of Kindergarten you have a problem.

What was wrong with the way we learned? Was is so bad???? Everyone in education is feeling the pressure from the Bush administration. Today, I had two young college students come in and observe the "URBAN SETTING". I told them to run as fast as they can. Life in my building is extremely stressful, teachers are unhappy, and I swear the principal is coming to work drunk daily.

The big talk is to start paying us for how our kids perform on tests... Please, until someone can guarantee me that my kids will get a healthy evening meal, have someone help them with their homework, read to them at night, make sure that they get to sleep at a decent hour, and just talk to them the playing field is not equal. In my classroom, I had a little boy tell me that his mom won't buy a year book for him because if she has extra money she goes to the casino. On Monday I had a conference with a parent who had just arrived from the casino at 4 am and she told me that they cannot afford their daughters ADHD medicine. One child told me his homework is never finished because his mom is gone and his dad is always sleeping or watching TV. Several of my kids, I had the same kids last year, were pulled out of class for over a month because they either went to Mexico or Africa. Everyone says that their kids will read, keep a journal and attend school there. Not happening.....

Enough venting for the evening.....

Mary

I recently finished this book and thought the subject matter was so thought provoking. The book deals with a 12 or 13 year old girl suing her parents so she doesn't have to give her sister a kidney. The child was created in a test tube to give her sister a perfect match for a bone marrow transplant from the umbilical cord at birth. Over the years she has to give so much to keep her sister alive.

During the story I really disliked the mother who all seemed to take her sick child's side when it was destroying her first born, a son, and putting her other daughter through such pain.

How can a parent choose what child is more important to them? I still am pondering that element. Maybe the mother really didn't and was just doing the best she could do.

Mary

Today we celebrated Kiran's fifth birthday. She was so excited this morning and seeing that smiling face all day just warmed my heart. All of her cousins where in attendance with some of our closet friends. Kiran loved being the center of attention.... Of course opening the presents was the most anticipated event of the day....... For the last week, I have been explaining to her that it was not about presents but enjoying the time with our family and friends. I am afraid I failed in that department. She was so calm and patient when her cousin was reading her cards before she could open the gift. She fell asleep at 4:00 and her eyes opened again around 5:30. She is still smiling. Now to get her in the shower and to bed...

Enjoy Monday everyone, it is my least favorite day of the week......I am feeling the Sunday blues.....

Mary

Just wanted to post a photo of my baby and myself.

Tomorrow we are celebrating her fifth birthday. It is so amazing how fast time goes and I cannot seem to remember that 8 1/2 month old who came home to Minneapolis from India.

This was taken over a 1 1/2 years ago.

Mary

Being told in the morning that you should stay home and snuggle instead of going to work...
Having someone to come home to.....
Being told that you are loved more then the universe......
Watching The Cinderella Story for the 100th time together....
Playing Hi Ho Cherry O.....
Putting together a Dora puzzle....
Reading your favorite story, The Best Pet of All, together....
Playing Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders and trying to lose....
Playing War and losing, not on purpose even....

Most of all....


Being hugged and told you are the most special person, MY MOMMY!!!!

Running late-played 500 rummy to long this morning
Waking up Kiran and get called stupid and the remote flies through the air....
Kiran needs something brown to wear to school, she says she wears brown everyday....
Still running late, have to stop at the local convenience store to get 1/2 bagel for preschool...
Drop K off at daycare... She is finally happy....
Get to work with 5 minutes to spare
Teach the class from Hell until 2:15, then pick up the 8 I am tutoring, which has 4 from the class from hell.....
Work until 5
Pick up my niece at school
Weigh in at WW
Drop of Laura, pick up Kiran who proceeds to learn that the middle finger in not a good thing when her cousin pays her 52 cents to show me.....Then cries when I am agast...
Thomas comes with us so we can drop him off at basketball practice.... Kiran is getting one her seatbelt, is having trouble and screams...crap!!!! I turn around with the same finger look and she starts crying again.
Cries all the way home 20 minutes....
Make a taco with leftover meat......'
Take out the trash, try to ignore the crabbie one, fold laundry.....
Kiran finally goes to bed.....
Time for mommy to go to sleep...........

My daughter Kiran is adopted from India. My beautiful baby came home over 4 years ago at 8 1/2 months old. She will be 5 in two weeks. Next weekend we will be celebrating with her 3 uncles and their families. On Friday evening, I talked to my youngest brother asking if they were coming to the party. He asked if it was only for the girls, when I responded that Kiran wanted ALL her uncles there he told me that she doesn't have a clue who her REAL UNCLES are. I almost drove off the road. Nothing on this earth has ever cute through my skin as this comment. Kiran has been my DAUGHTER since her referral in January of 2001. I have never thought she wasn't my REAL DAUGHTER. I said what I could to him with Kiran in the backseat . He told me that he was just kidding. Kidding or not, it is not a comment I had ever expected to get from one of my siblings. I have three brothers and I thought all were happy to be Kiran's uncles.