single parenthood

It was a Wednesday, no different from any other day. I went to my school to ick up my materials for teaching fourth grade, then went out for lunch with my SIL and her mother. After lunch, it was time to go to the part time job, my cousin (who is one of my best friends is my boss), to help with inventory.

I talked to my mom around 9 that morning. We discussed the fact she was checking into the hospital in Duluth to have her foot amputated. She sounded fine, I told her I would see her in the morning and that I loved her. It was the last time I ever talked to her.

Shortly after I arrived at my part time job, a call came in from my SIL saying I needed to get to Duluth ASAP. Duluth is a 2 1/2 hour drive from MPLS. I asked why, and she said something happened when my mom was checking into the hospital and they are calling the family. She told me to go home and that she would call when Mike was ready to leave so we could drive up together.......

At this point in time, I was living with my friend Karin and her daughter. Karin for some reason that day took the day off. All I can say is God works in mysterious ways. I arrived home, not knowing if I should pack, just leave for Duluth or what. As I walked into my bedroom, I saw I had several messages on my answering machine. There were 3 hang ups. I finally decided to call St. Mary's up in Duluth to find out what was going on. The first person I talked to did not have my mom listed as a patient. Finally, she asked me to hold on. She had connected me to emergency and they put my dad on the line. When I asked him what was going on he told me the worst possible thing happened.......Of course I had to ask what and he told me that we lost her about 20 minutes ago. My mom passed away at 2:15 pm on this date. At this point I tried calling my SIL at work and they put her boss on who told me that Denise knew and was on her way home. He tried so hard to comfort me but that was impossible.

Karin, the wonderful, kind person she was, threw a bunch of clothes in a suitcase for me and we waited together for my SIL, brother, and niece to pick me up to drive north. Not to mention she called my closets friends to tell them what had happened.

I remember that entire day like it was yesterday. When I got into the back seat of the car, my niece Laura, who was 2 at the time, looked at me and said, "Your mom just died."

We took the 3 1/2 ride in total silence after that. The only noise that could be heard was sobbing everytime we took a turn to signal we were one step closer to being home.

All the way up north, I kept thinking this cannot be true. How can I lose my mom before I lost a grandparent? I was 29 years old, this wasn't suppose to happen until I was much older.....Life can be so cruel sometimes!!!!

The vision I can see is turning down our street, in Hoyt Lakes, and seeing all the cars parked in front of our house. It was at that time, I really understood what was happening. My aunts, grandparents, cousins, and friends were all there to greet us with their tears, words of condolence, and all the food you could ever imagine. The only thing missing was MY MOM!!!!

At that point, I didn't think I would live through it. She was my best friend, the woman who taught me how to love, to parent, and reach for my dreams.

Thank you mom for everything you taught me, for the morals you gave me, and the unconditional love that was present always. If I am half the mom you were, Kiran is in good shape.

Kiran would have loved her and she would have loved Kiran. My only regrent is she went to her grave thinking I didn't want children. If she could tell me now what she thinks!!!!!!

I LOVE YOU MOM!!!

Ok, time to yell and scream about the school district I work for......

In January, the district switched over to an automated payroll system. It is all electronic, you don't get a pay stub unless you can get online and copy it. Well, people have had issues with it since the beginning. I didn't have any until the last pay period. I get paid every other Friday. I thought my check was smaller then it should have been, but I have been doing extra work, and wasn't so sure. On Saturday, I had a check from the district in my mail box. It seems they forgot to pay me for a sick day. Today, I checked on tomorrows check.... It seems, due to a program problem, I am only getting paid half my salary. That is so nice. I have bills to pay and checks that will be bouncing. How long do you think it should take to get the bugs out of the system?

Today was my first day of summer school. I have been at these useless meetings, NCLB related for three days. I walked into a classroom with 32, yes I said 32, first graders. This program is suppose to be for those children who need extra help catching up to their peers. Ok, I cannot help anyone catch up with 32 kids. It is amazing, I feel like I am babysitting at less then a dollar an hour per kid. I would make out better financially providing daycare in my home for the summer.

This district doesn't have a leader at the moment. It is so mixed up, I just wished, financially, I could just leave. Maybe someday when Mr. Right asks me to marry him.

Have a great weekend all. My started at 1 this afternoon.....

Mary

Here is a photo of Kiran and I. This was taken Memorial Day.

On to the thrill of victory....

Friday morning, I was walking into school with my nephew and Kiran. Both were coming on the field trip with my class. The assistant principal and principal were waiting for me at the top of the stairs. Once Thomas and Kiran went up to my room, the assistant principal approached me and told me she heard about the meeting yesterday afternoon. She told me that she never brought my name up to Michelle and what Michelle said at the meeting was a lie. She was going to talk with her and make her apologize to me in front of the entire staff. My principal also told me how angry she was with her.

Shortly after the day started, Michelle and Evelyn (the assistant principal) came to my room where Michel approached me and apologized to me and Evelyn told me she would be doing this in front on the staff after school.

It was also lay off day in Minneapolis for next year. The meeting started right at 2:30 where Michelle apologized to me. She also told the staff we should wait until next school year to make our decision on union steward. Right after that, she announced that she was laid off and wouldn't be back. So, if we would have waited to make our decision, like I suggested, we never would have had that meeting and discussion where she totally bashed me several times.

It also makes me feel better that the one staff member who I thought I could trust, did apologize to me and wanted to make sure that I was ok. She did tell me that she didn't sleep the night before because she realized that she hurt and was truly sorry. That felt really good.

So the decision to who will be the steward next year will be made in August, no one will want the position and everyone will just assume I am going to it. They are TRULY WRONG!!!!!

I made me happy walking out of that school on Friday. I knew I didn't do anything wrong and was professional throughout the entire mess.

Hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend.

Mary

For the past 8 or so years, I have been the union steward at my school. Most of the time this title came by default and no one else was willing to it. This past fall, I told the staff I was taking the year off. My reasons to them were personal but mostly because I was tired of butting heads with a principal who was off the wall.

When our new principal came into our building, she asked me if I would be willing to step back into in the position. She talked to the staff about it, which most of them forgot about today, and they all thought that was great. At that point, I told them honestly I wouldn't be going to any meetings until next year. After all, I took the damn year off.

This new chick shows up in our building and is what I would refer to as a bully. She spouts professionalism all the time, yet she comes to school in torn clothes, jeans, and looking like she is working a garage sale. She yelled at the staff her first week on the job during a staff meeting, steals (which i have seen her do), doesn't get her paperwork in on time, she thinks that everyone in the building owes her and yelled at me in the hallway last week.

Damn, I am so angry, but a certain faction of the building decided that she would do a better job then I would. That was during the union meeting today, when she lied about things I did or didn't do on several occasions, making allegations that were not true, and when I would try to defend myself I looked like the poor sport. I didn't bring up one negative thing about her and guess who won........................

It reminded me of the Republicans in the last few elections. Focus on the negative and you shall be the victor. Did I forget to mention that the faction that voted for her where mainly Republicans????? I hope they all learn what I already know. My friends tried their best but failed. Some people, who I thought were friends, totally stabbed me in the back. I hope they come and ask me in the next few days to babysit some of their kids. The answer will be NO!!!! Tomorrow they will come up to me and tell me how sorry they are, what a bunch of bullshit!

Thanks for letting me vent.....

Mary

This is Tower, Mn and Kiran showing us how to sit in a tree. She was hanging out with my nephew and cousin. They had so much fun, roasting hot dogs, making smores, and climbing trees. I love when 12 year old boys can have so much fun with a 5 year old.




Here is Kiran, Thomas (My Nephew), and James (My cousin's son).

On our way home, Kiran told me that she just wished the weekend was starting and not over. We love it up there.

Mary

This week in Minneapolis it has been in the low to high 80s all week. The skies have been sunny and the last week of May would have been weather perfect if I wasn't in school. My building was built in 1927. It is a lovely brick school with tons of windows, something the newer schools are lacking!

My room is on the third floor and faces toward the east. When the sun is shining, it warms the room up so nicely in the winter but..... On Thursday when I walked in and checked the temperature in my room it was 90 degrees already at 7:30 am. It makes for miserable days and very short nights. I have been thinking I was getting sick but then realized I was exhausted every night from being in that sauna daily. Kiran seems to have been putting herself to sleep because this mommy is going to bed at 8:30 every night. So, I have been praying for 60 and rainy. The kids are so excited to get out and we have 2 weeks left.....

On another note, the teeth are loose and Kiran couldn't be happier. We discovered last week, on our way up north, that one of her bottom front teeth was loose and yesterday I noticed the one next to it is also. She is moving in with my brothers when the fairy is coming seeing two out of the three told her the tooth fairy brings $50 a tooth. T

It has been crazy around these parts. We spent 3 1/2 wonderful days in on Lake Vermilion and in Tower. The weather was wonderful but we each brought home several sand fly and mosquito bites. For this early in the season the bugs were terrible....

Hope all is well with everyone.

Mary