single parenthood

Today, my baby girl who came home to me at 8 1/2 months old, graduated from preschool. I cannot believe that this child has grown up so much. She acts like she is 15 and so ready for kindergarten. If her mommy would just take some time to learn her she would be reading. I took the day off to watch my baby in a short program and get a small diploma (hopefully one of at least 5). We then went out to lunch and that was so much fun. She was so excited. I asked her on the way home if she was excited for kindergarten in the fall. Her reply, "You know mommy, when you liked something so much and it is over, don't you just want to go back?" I know that feeling well Kiran. It was so sweet. We came home and watch a few episodes of Full House and napped together. I just loved this day. Kiran fell asleep at 6:30 and I expect her to sleep all night.

In 15 school days, I will say goodbye to my class. It is a class that I have mostly had for 2 years. I have seen many sibling be born, divorces happening, marriages taking place and so on. I have complained so much about this group in the last few years, Inger can attest to that. In reality, I am going to miss the Ali's and Ahmed's in the world. I truly think this is part of my mood in the last few days.

Not to mention, the fact that my relationship to Gill, seems to be turning into a more comfortable position and that scares me. We seem to be having a hard time getting together but after tonight I feel better. We had a talk about how I know that his mother and daughter are his top priorities but I need to know that I am up there. He told me he does understand and will put forth an effort to make me feel that way.

I dislike reality tv but for American Idol. I am so happy that Taylor Hicks won this evening.

Love ya all,

Mary

How can someone on two anti-depressants be depressed?????

This was borrowed from Inger. Go to Google and type in "your name is". Make sure to include the quotation marks.... It was interesting.

MARY IS MODEL OF PERSEVERING SILENCE.
Mary is the cause of our joy.
Mary is co-redeemer (co-redemptrix) with Jesus Christ. ...
Mary is alluded to as Queen in the book of Revelations
Mary is in heaven
The Catholic Mary is a devil!
Mary is repeated by just one girl who is either
Mary is summoned whenever squealing girls get together for a sleepover,
Mary is a popular female given name
Mary is connected on many points with that to the Heart of Jesus;

Imagine it was mostly about the Mother of Jesus......

I hope everyone is having a great week.

Mary

I am so wild about Gill. In my life I have never had a relationship that has lasted this long with an unattached man. Ok, I had two affairs with married men and those lasted a couple of years a piece. Maybe it was because I knew they weren't going to go anywhere.

Gill is different, it has been over 5 months, we talk everyday, see each other as often as possible. The last few times that I have been with him, though, for the first 30 minutes, I swear I am waiting for the ball to drop and him to tell me he doesn't want to see me any more. I don't think he really feels this way, but it scares the hell out of me. What is this????

I know that I am one strong woman, but at times don't want to be strong, I know I can live on my own, I have done it for 41 years. I am a good parent, I think, and would be a wonderful step parent to his daughter. Hell, I would make a hell of a wife just knowing what my mom has instilled in me. I do not think I am afraid to compromise, to live a life with another human being...

This summer he is going to Troy, New York to work a basketball camp. He invited to come out for a few days. When he found out I was serious about showing up, he was so excited. He couldn't believe that I would find a babysitter for Kiran for 4 or 5 days and fly out to see him. He couldn't believe that I would do that for him.

Does anyone have any idea what Troy is like????

This feeling so strongly for some one is hard. It is easy with Kiran, she isn't going anywhere for at least 13 years........

I will get through these feeling but I hope that I don't do anything to wreck this relationship in the mean time....

Mary

I cannot believe how long it has been since I have blogged. We have been busy girls at our house.

Last Friday, I had a conference with Kiran's preschool teacher. It is always so interesting being on the other side of the table. Her teacher told me that she was ready for Kindergarten and was when she walked into preschool this past fall. That doesn't surprise me. I told her recently that she would be reading if mommy wasn't to tired to teach her when I got home from school. She proceed to tell my SIL the following, "Denise, my mommy said I would be reading if she LEARNED me, but she is to tired from LEARNING other kids to LEARN me." That makes a mom feel really good. Damn, where are my priorities,they may be the following: food on the table, a roof over us, a car to drive, and those clothes she loves......

Her teacher told me that she doesn't like to dance and sing with the class. I found that odd because she is always singing in the car and she goes to dance class, as evidence shows. In fact in a week and half she will have her second dance recital. When I asked her why, she told me she didn't like those songs that told you what to do. This is a quote, "Mommy I like to do my own thing." The kid is five, lord I think trouble is ahead of me.

The other concern they had was that she doesn't interact with the boys. She made reference to me being single and that is maybe why she doesn't. I told her that was just silly seeing that for the first four years she had a male daycare provider and she sees her cousins and my brother frequently. BTW-who says you should like boys at five????

All in all, they do love her. She is quiet but not as shy as she was at the beginning of the year. She is a perfectionist, who takes in her time doing her work and follows directions just the way she should. It amazes me how different she is at home. Following directions is not happening at our house.

I am one proud mommy and will take complete responsibility for her intelligence, her temper belongs to her birth parents. HAHAHAHA!!

Hope all is well with everyone.

Here is a photo of the two of us......What else can I say....