Saturday, May 13, 2006
Insecurities.....
I am so wild about Gill. In my life I have never had a relationship that has lasted this long with an unattached man. Ok, I had two affairs with married men and those lasted a couple of years a piece. Maybe it was because I knew they weren't going to go anywhere.
Gill is different, it has been over 5 months, we talk everyday, see each other as often as possible. The last few times that I have been with him, though, for the first 30 minutes, I swear I am waiting for the ball to drop and him to tell me he doesn't want to see me any more. I don't think he really feels this way, but it scares the hell out of me. What is this????
I know that I am one strong woman, but at times don't want to be strong, I know I can live on my own, I have done it for 41 years. I am a good parent, I think, and would be a wonderful step parent to his daughter. Hell, I would make a hell of a wife just knowing what my mom has instilled in me. I do not think I am afraid to compromise, to live a life with another human being...
This summer he is going to Troy, New York to work a basketball camp. He invited to come out for a few days. When he found out I was serious about showing up, he was so excited. He couldn't believe that I would find a babysitter for Kiran for 4 or 5 days and fly out to see him. He couldn't believe that I would do that for him.
Does anyone have any idea what Troy is like????
This feeling so strongly for some one is hard. It is easy with Kiran, she isn't going anywhere for at least 13 years........
I will get through these feeling but I hope that I don't do anything to wreck this relationship in the mean time....
Mary
Gill is different, it has been over 5 months, we talk everyday, see each other as often as possible. The last few times that I have been with him, though, for the first 30 minutes, I swear I am waiting for the ball to drop and him to tell me he doesn't want to see me any more. I don't think he really feels this way, but it scares the hell out of me. What is this????
I know that I am one strong woman, but at times don't want to be strong, I know I can live on my own, I have done it for 41 years. I am a good parent, I think, and would be a wonderful step parent to his daughter. Hell, I would make a hell of a wife just knowing what my mom has instilled in me. I do not think I am afraid to compromise, to live a life with another human being...
This summer he is going to Troy, New York to work a basketball camp. He invited to come out for a few days. When he found out I was serious about showing up, he was so excited. He couldn't believe that I would find a babysitter for Kiran for 4 or 5 days and fly out to see him. He couldn't believe that I would do that for him.
Does anyone have any idea what Troy is like????
This feeling so strongly for some one is hard. It is easy with Kiran, she isn't going anywhere for at least 13 years........
I will get through these feeling but I hope that I don't do anything to wreck this relationship in the mean time....
Mary
# posted by sjobs @ 7:27 PM 
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I think that's a self preservation instinct trying to kick in; run before I get hurt. It is a very human thing; it doesn't mean he feels that way!
I've driven through Troy countless times (at least 15) taking my wife home to Vermont; it's on the east side of Albany as you start to climb into the mountains that divide New York and Vermont. I've never done anything but gas up and stop for ice there, sorry!
The drive across the New York Throughway and then from Troy into Vermont is gorgeous! With the company you'll be keeping, it won't matter what Troy is like anyway, it will seem great!
:o)
alan
I've driven through Troy countless times (at least 15) taking my wife home to Vermont; it's on the east side of Albany as you start to climb into the mountains that divide New York and Vermont. I've never done anything but gas up and stop for ice there, sorry!
The drive across the New York Throughway and then from Troy into Vermont is gorgeous! With the company you'll be keeping, it won't matter what Troy is like anyway, it will seem great!
:o)
alan
Mary, you're going to think I'm insane, but I actually lived in Troy, NY for a while. It's about an hour and a half from my house now! What's it like, hard to say. Summer is definitely the best time of year. There are two colleges in the town, which is great if you're 22 (which I was when I lived there) but not so much if you're a reasonable age. It's about 15 minutes from Albany, the capital of NY. And about an hour away from Saratoga, where they have this big horse race every year and that city is absolutely beautiful.
I do agree with Alan, though. It won't matter what Troy is like. You'll be so happy just being with Gill.
I'd love to visit with you when you come!!!
I do agree with Alan, though. It won't matter what Troy is like. You'll be so happy just being with Gill.
I'd love to visit with you when you come!!!
Mary...it has to be only human nature/ to worry a bit. but, from everything you have said..it sounds like things are going GREAT!!
Neat to have a summer trip to plan!! Is Gill there the whole summer??
Happy Mother's Day to you!!! take care, Kathy
Neat to have a summer trip to plan!! Is Gill there the whole summer??
Happy Mother's Day to you!!! take care, Kathy
Mary, don't even consider the thought that you might ruin this relationship.....
Relax, believe in yourself, enjoy each moment.
Be confident and things will be fine!
Happy Mother's Day to you.....
Relax, believe in yourself, enjoy each moment.
Be confident and things will be fine!
Happy Mother's Day to you.....
how cute, you say you are terrified you will ruin the relationship--meanwhile he "doesn't believe" you'd go to troy to visit him. low self-esteem, anyone?
MAY ALL BEINGS BE HAPPY! you DO deserve it!!!!
:)
MAY ALL BEINGS BE HAPPY! you DO deserve it!!!!
:)
Good for you!!!! And good for Gill, too!!!
The fact that you're concerned and recognize a problem shows that you're in a good place to *work on* the problem, I think.
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The fact that you're concerned and recognize a problem shows that you're in a good place to *work on* the problem, I think.
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