single parenthood

On this date my life changed forever......

Let me begin on November 19, 2000, in Minneapolis, MN. I was in the middle of getting my Master's from the St. Mary's University. Our classes met one weekend a month for two years. My class was preparing for our final project in March. It was a balmy Sunday afternoon, by MN standards, when I started gasping for breath, felt like I was going to throw up, and was pulling at the neck of my shirt. I was having my first panic attack. No idea why, but it happened. When I got home, I dialed my SIL, Denise, immediately. I told her that I thought my baby was born today. She asked why and I told her about the attack. Her reply, "Mark the day on the calendar and when your referral comes through, if her birthday is on this date, why bother having her photos checked out by the U of MN, we will know she is ours."

My reply, "We need to remember that Calcutta is 12 1/2 hours ahead of us so if the date comes through as November 20, it means the same thing." End of conversation.

Just a little 2 1/2 months later, I had just walked in from dismissing my students to their buses. It was raining cats and dogs with the forcast for the temps to go way below freezing..... There is a phone call for me in the office. It is my agency telling me that they have a referral for me. I told them the fax number and started waiting by the fax machine. It didn't long for the machine to start buzzing.... The first two lines, Name: Kiran Age: 20-11-2000. I started shaking, my body went numb, tears streaming down my face and I almost passed out. I knew she was mine before I even saw the 1X1 picture at the bottom of the page. I rushed to the phone, called Tammy from my agency back and told her that she was mine. Send me the official papers...... Back to my classroom to call my SIL and cousin, who is like my sister. My cousin, Kim, was so excited for me. My SIL was NO WHERE TO BE FOUND!! I left work with a permanent smile on my face. I decide to stop at Target and celebrate by buying perfect little child her first present from her MOMMY!!! (By the time she came home, the outfit was way to small. I still have it saved in her first year box, maybe her little girl will wear it someday.)

My SIL finally calls back, the roads are getting slippery, but I decide that I need to show her the information on her new niece. I drive the 8 miles, it takes more then 30 minutes, twice as long as usual. I walk in their house, show them the info. This is Lilianna Marlene... my brother stops me and says you cannot change this child's name. She deserves her given name. It makes sense, I like the name but don't change my mind at that time.

I drive home, 45 minutes this round, get to my driveway, cannot get up the little slope. Get some ice melt, put it on the driveway, go and get my car. On the way down the driveway, I slip and fall and slide right across the street on my bottom. Finally get in the house, look up the meaning of Kiran, in Hindi it means ray of light or sunlight. Cannot change, she becomes Kiran Marlene.

This was just the beginning of a life long love story, the child is mine and I am so at peace. It takes other 8 1/2 months before my little angel comes home, but this day started it all.......

Happy photo Sunday all........

Love,

Mary and Kiran