Thursday, February 23, 2006
Daddies
This evening I called my daycare provider to tell her that Kiran would be late and my SIL would be dropping her off in the morning. She then told me that she has something to show me. It is a book that Kiran was writing this morning and in it she wrote that she missed and loved her daddy in India. This freaked Dana out a little but I told her that I thought it was normal and that I wanted to keep the book. Tben part of me feels so sad for her that she is growing up without a daddy. Now the kid has my three brothers who step into that role nicely but none of them live with us. I don't know if this is coming from the fact that I am dating, it is age appropriate, or if it stems from being the only one at preschool without a daddy. Perhaps it is a combination of all three. The one thing I am happy about is that when I asked her about her book tonight she said it was about her feelings. I told her that is a great way to express her feelings through writing. She liked that answer and I don't EVER want her to feel that she cannot discuss her feeling because I will understand just about everything or try to anyway. I guess it is time to pull out the development books and read up.
At times I do feel so guilty that I adopted without a daddy around but I do believe that we will survive and even if there was daddy, she would be feeling the same way about her dad in India.
It is almost the weekend.
Mary and kiran
At times I do feel so guilty that I adopted without a daddy around but I do believe that we will survive and even if there was daddy, she would be feeling the same way about her dad in India.
It is almost the weekend.
Mary and kiran
# posted by sjobs @ 8:43 PM 
Comments:
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Please never feel guilty about taking this beautiful child and giving her a wonderful home! So many will never have even one parent, let alone one with enough love in her heart for a dozen parents!
Each time I come here my heart fills with the joy you bring me in sharing your life, your child and your stories. I wish I had been a hundredth of the parent you are!
Yes, there will always be that sense of the unknown, of the "path not taken"; we all have that and do it to ourselves, sometimes to our detriment (I know I do!). That she can share her feelings with you instead of having to hide them will bring you even closer!
I look forward to watching her grow up through your eyes!
alan
Each time I come here my heart fills with the joy you bring me in sharing your life, your child and your stories. I wish I had been a hundredth of the parent you are!
Yes, there will always be that sense of the unknown, of the "path not taken"; we all have that and do it to ourselves, sometimes to our detriment (I know I do!). That she can share her feelings with you instead of having to hide them will bring you even closer!
I look forward to watching her grow up through your eyes!
alan
I think you are doing all the right things; do you have any age appropriate books for children without fathers?
She is probably exploring her feelings right now and putting her life into her form of persepctive. My son is the same age, and he is suddenly more interested in things that he never even noticed before. I think the best thing is to be nonchalant about it and let her initiate her feelings on the topic rather than pressing her about her feelings (but I am sure you think this as well)...
She is probably exploring her feelings right now and putting her life into her form of persepctive. My son is the same age, and he is suddenly more interested in things that he never even noticed before. I think the best thing is to be nonchalant about it and let her initiate her feelings on the topic rather than pressing her about her feelings (but I am sure you think this as well)...
I think that you are doing a damn good job being her mommy, as well as encouraging her to write down or draw her feelings. She is for sure in the hands of a wonderful parent and angel! :)
Have a beautiful weekend!
Love,
Sarah
Have a beautiful weekend!
Love,
Sarah
Thank you Alan, Cathy, and Sarah. You guys make me feel so good and reinforce what I am doing as a parent.
Thanks again, I love you guys.
Mary
Thanks again, I love you guys.
Mary
I would venture a guess that this is perfectly normal, and she was trying to find her own way to fit in with her classmates, and didn't know how else to express her feelings.
You are giving her a MUCH better life than she could probably ever have had, don't feel bad for that. She's very lucky and blessed to have you for her mom!
You are giving her a MUCH better life than she could probably ever have had, don't feel bad for that. She's very lucky and blessed to have you for her mom!
It's totally normal, Mary. Liam does that, too--only with the Daddy, since he's got a Mommy, after all. Today, in fact, he wrapped up a school picture and put it in an envelope to send to Makhan. I actually wrote to Gita and asked her if she thinks it's OK to mail it; I was thinking about Barack Obama's book, which recounts so powerfully his own search for his missing father (who disappeared when Barack was two.) Hard not to imagine Liam doing the same thing someday, in his own way.
I love that Kiran's writing out her feelings. What a bright, balanced kid--honestly.
I love that Kiran's writing out her feelings. What a bright, balanced kid--honestly.
Hi Mary....
I am getting caught up with your life!!
Loved the photo of your flowers, how sweet of GilL!!
and Kiran's pic too...she is looking so grown up..wow!!!
I was going to say the same thing...don't feel bad about Kiran not having a Dad (there are lots of very lousy Dads around)...!!! and you are providing her with the love and home/ that she needs...in a big time way!!
I thought how you handled the book/ and encouraging her to express her feelings was wonderful!!!
take care, Kathy
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I am getting caught up with your life!!
Loved the photo of your flowers, how sweet of GilL!!
and Kiran's pic too...she is looking so grown up..wow!!!
I was going to say the same thing...don't feel bad about Kiran not having a Dad (there are lots of very lousy Dads around)...!!! and you are providing her with the love and home/ that she needs...in a big time way!!
I thought how you handled the book/ and encouraging her to express her feelings was wonderful!!!
take care, Kathy
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