Tuesday, January 03, 2006
DAMN, DAMN......
Yesterday afternoon, I had a meeting with a financial counselor. The news is not what I wanted to hear but thought I might. With my credit card debt and the fact that I have overextended the value of my house, she told me the only way she sees my getting out of the situation is selling my house. At the moment, my house is more of a liability then an asset to me at this time. That means either trying to find a townhouse to rent or going into an apartment. It just makes me want to kick myself that all these years I have made poor decisions with finances and then being a single parent has put me over the edge. I sat in her office and just cried and cried. She was wonderful and told me to start self talking that it is ok and to let the past go and focus on the future. Why did it take me 41 years to figure this all out.
I know that Kiran and I will land on our feet and in six months life will be ok. She will hopefully learn mommy's lesson when she is older, but damn I am so embarrassed by the entire situation. Now I have to tell my family we will be moving into a rental unit somewhere and have to deal with their reactions. Tara, the counselor, asked me what the hardest part of this will be and I told her facing my brothers. She proceed to say it is none of their damn business why I am selling and not re-buying. Thank God she was wonderful and understanding. I have told my three closest friends and only cried when I told one today. Now I am sitting here in tears but it is part of the process.
Yes, we will miss our house but it is starting to fall apart anyway. It must still be the shock of it all. I must remember that I have wonderful friends, family and most of all Kiran.
Sorry for rambling.....
I know that Kiran and I will land on our feet and in six months life will be ok. She will hopefully learn mommy's lesson when she is older, but damn I am so embarrassed by the entire situation. Now I have to tell my family we will be moving into a rental unit somewhere and have to deal with their reactions. Tara, the counselor, asked me what the hardest part of this will be and I told her facing my brothers. She proceed to say it is none of their damn business why I am selling and not re-buying. Thank God she was wonderful and understanding. I have told my three closest friends and only cried when I told one today. Now I am sitting here in tears but it is part of the process.
Yes, we will miss our house but it is starting to fall apart anyway. It must still be the shock of it all. I must remember that I have wonderful friends, family and most of all Kiran.
Sorry for rambling.....
# posted by sjobs @ 12:27 PM 
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Oh Mary! I am so sorry to hear this! But you know what...onward! Look to the future! Your conselor is right, whose business is it why you are selling or not re-buying??...tell them its less of a hassle to rent(and it is) tell them you wanted to simplify(that's always good) tell them its more economical (prudent even :)) don;t tell them squat! Its definitley not the end of the world. We(hubby and I) have made unwise financial decisions in our past also and we do hope our kids learn from our mistakes at least...but they probably won't...:) I know you have lots of good things in your life and you and your daughter will be just fine!
Mary I am so sorry..I can just feel your pain...I always say things are meant for a reason whether good or bad...I can totally relate to the financial situation and age thing..
I think Both you and Kiran will come out just fine and even better than that! Hugs~
I think Both you and Kiran will come out just fine and even better than that! Hugs~
This is SO difficult. But sometimes doing what is necessary to get yourself free and clear can really be the most important step of all. Even if it means giving up materialistic things.
~Deb
~Deb
So many people I know (myself included) are finally being forced to face the reality of debt. No wonder the generations before us avoided it like the plague.
The only thing to do is let the past be the past and look forward to the freedom of debt-free living! :)
The only thing to do is let the past be the past and look forward to the freedom of debt-free living! :)
Ohhh Mary...very sorry to hear about your financial woes!! That is so hard....it is good news/ that you have a way out/ a way to get back on your feet...I know it must be hard to sort that all out...!
And you know that your brothers love you for you...not your financial record!!!
Hang in there...!! take care, kathy
And you know that your brothers love you for you...not your financial record!!!
Hang in there...!! take care, kathy
Thanks for all the kind words. This morning life is a little brighter, even though we haven't seen the sun in this part ofthe world for over 2 weeks.
My SIL wants me to talk to a few more people and see what they recommend. It can't hurt.
My SIL wants me to talk to a few more people and see what they recommend. It can't hurt.
Reality Bites.
Damn.
And so you take and make the steps necessary and you come out of the other side.
Oh so easy for me to say, but know you have the space here to let it out and to be TOTALLY supported.
Pardon my french...but if your brother's are the problem I'd just have one thing to say...F__k 'em if they can't take a joke. It's none of their business.
STB
Damn.
And so you take and make the steps necessary and you come out of the other side.
Oh so easy for me to say, but know you have the space here to let it out and to be TOTALLY supported.
Pardon my french...but if your brother's are the problem I'd just have one thing to say...F__k 'em if they can't take a joke. It's none of their business.
STB
Thanks for stopping by my blog today.
I was sorry to read your post. Good luck with everything and I hope it all works out.
I was sorry to read your post. Good luck with everything and I hope it all works out.
I too am sorry to hear you are going thru this Mary. But, you will feel better when you don't have it all hanging over your head. I know this doesn't lessen the pain though. You were smart to go to a counselor. And as she told you, it is nobody's business why you sell and do not purchase another home. Best of luck to you!
It's so hard to say anything that is comforting when you are going through this. I buried myself in an equity loan once instead of selling mine and paying things off; now I've refinanced that and the end is in sight, if I make it to 80...I know you are doing the right thing, though it hurts terrible right now.
Wish a cyber hug could make it better...
alan
Wish a cyber hug could make it better...
alan
You could look at the good points, no more worrying about having to keep up with yard work. Someone else has to fix things that go wrong. Many townhouses and apartments have great ammenities included, things that homeowners don't get for free; exercise rooms, pools, etc.... Hoping it works out for the good, for you!
sorry about this, mary.
but at least you don't live in california, the land of my heritage, where you now cannot live unless you are RICH. truly. no joke.
the man and i owned a place in the foothills-it was a dream come true. then we got the hell out of the racist town we had bought a home in, for ourselves and the girls, especially. and we moved here. but here, the median price for a (funky) place is 600, 000. so, we have been renting again, for the last 4-plus years. it bites. but this state is my home, and i can't imagine where i would go. my children are 5th generation californians, and i cannot fathom how they will manage to live out there lives here, the way things have changed. it's just awful.
you will beat this, i have no doubt!
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but at least you don't live in california, the land of my heritage, where you now cannot live unless you are RICH. truly. no joke.
the man and i owned a place in the foothills-it was a dream come true. then we got the hell out of the racist town we had bought a home in, for ourselves and the girls, especially. and we moved here. but here, the median price for a (funky) place is 600, 000. so, we have been renting again, for the last 4-plus years. it bites. but this state is my home, and i can't imagine where i would go. my children are 5th generation californians, and i cannot fathom how they will manage to live out there lives here, the way things have changed. it's just awful.
you will beat this, i have no doubt!
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